


To Wear The Crown

by maliciouslycreative



Series: prompt fills [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Daddy Shiro (Voltron), Fast Food, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Hubris, Humor, Shopping Malls, but not in the way you think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25666906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maliciouslycreative/pseuds/maliciouslycreative
Summary: Keith has never been to a Burger King. According to his friends this is apparently a huge crime or something. If it were up to him he'd live out his life never having been in a Burger King. Unfortunately for Keith very little in his life is ever up to him.
Series: prompt fills [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/868866
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	To Wear The Crown

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cosmologier (cowsbark)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowsbark/gifts).



> So like a very long time ago I asked for prompts. My wonderful friend Andy suggested “The gang takes Keith to Burger King for the first time and gets him a crown and also chaos ensues”. How could I resist such a wonderful disaster. Thank you Andy and so sorry this took like a year and a half.

“Oh my god!”

Keith already has his blade out and is scanning for threats before Lance has even finished his shriek. 

Shiro subtly tries to push Keith’s arm down and glances nervously at the other mall patrons. 

“What the fuck, Lance?” Pidge picks up her data pad which she’d dropped in surprise.

“They have a Burger King! I’m gonna get me a Whopper!”

Hunk makes a grab for Lance but he’s already sprinting across the mall. “And he’s gone.” Hunk sighs.

Keith slides his blade back into its sheath. “I don’t get it, what’s the big deal? Isn’t it just a shitty fast food hamburger?”

“Have you never been to Burger King?” Pidge is staring at him, a look somewhere between awe and horrified on her face. 

“No?” Keith glances between his friends.

“Ok, like I don’t really like fast food but man those onion rings and chicken fries.” Hunk is eyeing the direction Lance ran off in and starts slowly shuffling after him.

“Oh my god I forgot about the chicken fries.” Without another word Pidge turns and starts off after Lance.

“Chicken fries?” Keith’s frown deepens.

“It’s like chicken strips, but they’re fries.” Hunk nods his head and hurries after Pidge.

“Back when Adam, Curtis and I were all still cadets we used to sneak out and get shakes all the time.” Shiro follows Hunk and Pidge.

With a dramatic sigh Keith follows after his friends.

They make it to the outside of the Burger King before Pidge gasps and spins on Keith. “You never had a Burger King birthday! You never wore the crown!”

Hunk gasps and puts a hand over his mouth. “That’s so sad!”

“I had a McDonalds birthday instead.” Shiro shrugs.

“That’s also valid.” Hunk pats him on the shoulder.

“Ok, so listen up!” Pidge steps uncomfortably close to Keith and points at him. “It’s your birthday.”

“It’s July!”

“And you’re,” Pidge squints at him. “14. But you’re an alien so that’s why you look so old.”

“I’m 23.” Keith puts a hand over his face. 

“And I’m your mom.”

“WHAT?” Keith’s eyes nearly pop out of his head as he stumbles back. This is approaching weird territory. He doesn’t know how to deal with this and all his instincts are screaming at him to run. 

Frowning Pidge glances around the group. “Actually on second thought we better make Shiro your dad. He’s got the white hair thing going for him.”

“Ok, I’m out.” Keith spins on his heel and is three steps away when Shiro’s floating hand lands on his shoulder.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” Shiro squeezes the shoulder.

Keith stops walking and lets out a full body sigh. He’s pretty sure those are famous last words but he still turns around and trudges back to the group. “Whatever.” He mutters as he pushes past everyone and into the Burger King.

They find Lance already seated at a table, the carnage from his meal spread around him. “Oh my god guys, it’s so good!” He moans out around a mouthful of burger.

“It’s Keith’s birthday, we’re gonna get him a crown!” Pidge yells as she pushes Keith through the restaurant and up to the counter. Lance just grins and gives her a double thumbs up. 

“Hi, welcome to Burger King, can I interest you in a combo today?” The employee gestures vaguely at the menu behind them. Their name tag says their name is Jules.

“Hello, it’s my son’s birthday!” Shiro pushes Keith forward until he nearly runs into the counter.

Jules frowns skeptically.

“I’m 14.” Keith blurts out.

Jules’ eyebrows raise and they glance between Keith and Shiro.

“He’s an alien.” Hunk nods.

“Half.” Keith sighs.

“Half alien. Pidge puts a hand on Keith’s arm. “And he spent some time on a space whale. Wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff. You know.”

From the skeptical look Jules is continuing to give them they in fact do not know. 

“Anyway, he needs a crown.” Pidge leans on the counter and stares intently at Jules.

“Ok? Do you want a birthday package or just a meal?”

“Oh, just a meal.” Pidge squints at Keith. “A cheeseburger with fries and a…” she stares at the drink menu, “whatever the pink one is.”

“Cream soda.” Jules says boredly as they key in the order.

“Can I have extra pickles?” Keith asks. Jules looks like they’re about to say something so Keith adds on, “It’s my birthday and I really like pickles.” 

The rest of the paladins place their order with Jules and Keith goes to sit with Lance. This whole ordeal is already fraying his fragile thread of patience and listening to the rest of them argue over their orders is making him want to bolt. 

“So you’re 14, huh?” Lance smirks from behind his drink cup.

“I will dump that entire thing in your lap.” Keith glares.

Lance sets down his cup and holds up his hands. “Not making fun, my dude. Just making sure I got the story straight.”

Slumping back into his chair Keith massages his temple, trying to make the day disappear. “All this because I’ve never eaten a stupid hamburger from here before.”

“You wha?” Lance yelps. “That’s a crime dude. My family always used to…”

Keith tries his best to listen. He fails. At least Lance seems happy to talk, even if he’s well aware he lost Keith several minutes before.

Pidge bounds over and slams the paper crown down on Keith’s head so hard she nearly tears it. 

“What the fuck?!” Keith grabs onto the edge of the table so hard his knuckles turn white. 

“For the birthday boy!” She giggles as she plops into the seat next to Keith.

Any further fight is diffused by Hunk and Shiro placing several trays ladened with food down on the table. Shiro places a cardboard box with alarmingly chipper anthropomorphised crowns in front of Keith and then places a hot pink drink next to it. 

“Happy birthday, son.” Shiro winks.

Keith wants to die. 

Everyone else digs in and with a sigh Keith opens his box and pulls out his lukewarm fries. He waits until Shiro is taking a sip of his pop to say “Thank you,  _ daddy _ .” 

Shiro chokes on his drink. 

With a smirk Keith pops a fry in his mouth. 

As far as Keith figures the fast food is ok. He’s had better and he’s had worse. The alarmingly pink drink is probably his favourite part, especially since extra pickles apparently meant 3 small slices. 

“Man, when I was a kid going in the play room was like my favourite thing when we went for fast food. I’m pretty sure none of us could even fit in there, except for maybe Pidge.” Lance sighs forlornly.

“It doesn’t look that small. I’m sure I could fit.” Keith is surveying the play structure like he surveys a battlefield. 

“Well, you are the littlest smallra.”

Keith spins abruptly to stare at Lance. “A what?”

“Smallra. Smallest galra. Because you’re short.” Lance looks so proud of his joke.

Keith just gapes at Lance for several seconds before he tries to leap over the table to strangle Lance. The only thing that stopped him is Shiro’s quick reflexes and the fact that his Altean arm can reach further than a normal arm. 

“I’m a perfectly normal height!” Keith spits, glaring at Lance so intently that the people behind them get up from their table and scurry out of the restaurant.

“You’re exactly the right height.” Shiro says gently as he tries to pull Keith back into his seat.

“Yah, for like a human. But like galra are-”

“Lance!” Pidge punches him in the shoulder and gives him her best stink eye. She turns a kind smile on Keith. “Besides, being short is great. You can’t hit your fat head on stuff and you get to make tall people do things for you because you can’t reach. It’s a win win.”

Sighing dramatically Keith lets Shiro drag him back into the chair. “Whatever. I still say I’d fit.”

“$20 says you’ll get stuck.”

“You’re on!”

Shiro regrets letting go of Keith’s shirt because he springs to his feet and is racing Lance to the play area. 

“Ahh, children.” Hunk says fondly as he sips at his drink. 

“I can just see the headline now: leader of Voltron gets stuck inside a Burger King play structure. Firefighters have to use the jaws of life to rescue him.” Pidge giggles.

“Maybe we should stop them?” Hunk glances nervously between the play structure and Pidge.

Pidge shrugs. “Keith’s already in there. I think we just have to let this play out.” 

Someone clears their throat and they all look up to see Jules standing next to their table, arms crossed over their chest. “I’m sorry but your… son is too big for the play structure.” They point at a height chart on the wall. “

“My apologies.” Shiro turns his best kind smile on Jules and their stern look starts to waver. “My son didn’t have a lot of time to play growing up. We rescued him from a prison camp you see. His family was brutally murdered in front of him.” 

Jules glanced between Shiro and Keith who is now climbing into the play structure. They shrug. “I guess five minutes is ok? But he needs to get out of some other kids want to play.” 

Shiro gives them his brightest smile, “thank you. I’m sure he’ll just crawl through it once then get bored. Everything will be fine.”

“Hey guys?” Keith’s yell is muffled by the play structure. “I think I’m stuck.” 

Lance lets out a whoop and pumps his fist in the air. Everyone glares at him.

Jules looks like they want to be anywhere else than here.

“Do you need someone to come help you?” Shiro yells.

“I… fuck. My hair’s stuck. Shit this sucks. And no - fucking goddamn shit - I don’t know if another person would fit in here.”

Shiro coughs. “Uhh, watch your language… young man!”

Pidge starts emptying her pockets into Hunk’s hands. “Fine, I’m coming.”

“No! I’m serious, it’s really cramped in here. I’m super flexible and I can’t even get my hair so you’ll just get stuck here too.” Keith sounds defeated.

“I guess I could send in my hand?” Shiro wiggles the fingers of his Altean hand and starts to edge it towards the entrance of the play structure. 

“Yah, that’s pretty much our only option. Unless we like send Pidge in with some scissors.” Lance nods sagely.

“I heard that Lance! I will kill you if you do that.”

Lance grimaces. “I do not doubt that for a second.”

Standing at the play structure entrance Shiro seriously starts to wonder how Keith fit in the tubes in the first place. Sure he isn’t as broad as Shiro is but even Pidge looks like she’d be uncomfortable in the plastic tubes. “Alright son, I’m coming in.”

Pidge coughs and mutters something that sounds suspiciously like “title of your sex tape”. Shiro gives her a disapproving look.

It takes a while to maneuver the hand through the structure. Some of the tubes are translucent which helps but some of them he just has to essentially walk the hand along like Thing from The Adam’s Family. 

Finally he comes in contact with something soft. There’s a startled yelp and a muffled “You touched my - you know what never mind. Just move higher. Not- yes there you go, a bit to the left.” 

Coran had once offered to see if he could improve the touch receptors in the Altean hand. At the time the thought of Coran performing experiments on his hand had been too terrifying to consider. Now, with his hand several metres away in a plastic tube Shiro is reconsidering because this is proving to be harder than initially thought.

"You're hurting me, daddy!" Keith yells.

Shiro' face goes bright red.

"I'm going to find some scissors." Jules mutters as they walk away. 

“Can you just- to the left a little more- AH HAH!” Keith yells, joy flooding his voice. “Here, can you…” there’s some more muttering that’s not audible from outside the tubes, some thumping and then Keith comes sliding out of the structure with Shiro’s hand floating behind him. His hair’s half fallen out of his braid and the sad remains of the crown is clutched in Shiro’s hand. 

“Told you you’d get stuck.” Lance grins. 

Keith flips him off.

“Now now, son,” Shiro comes to stand beside Keith and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Is that any way to behave?” 

Keith glances up at Shiro, smirk at the corner of his lips. “You’re enjoying this way too much,  _ daddy _ .” 

“Ok, I think we’ve had enough fun today at the Burger King.” Pidge wedges between Shiro and Keith and tries her best to start propelling them out of the restaurant. 

“But my crown broke.” Keith pouts.”

“I will give you like 10 crowns if you leave.” Jules yells from behind the counter.

Lance gives her a double thumbs up. “Sold.” 

Jules pulls a handful of crowns from under the counter and thrusts them at Lance who takes them gleefully. Lance distributes a crown to everyone as they exit the restaurant. 

“Well, that wasn’t the worst.” Keith shrugs. 

“That’s pretty high praise from you.” Pidge loops her arm through Keith’s. “So, is there anywhere else important someone’s never been? Denny’s? iHop? Ooooh, someone say Sonic, I could really go for a shake.” 

“White Castle!” Lance claps his hands together. “I’ve always wanted to go to a White Castle after seeing that classic movie.” 

“Didn’t the last White Castle close like 10 years ago?” Hunk says.

“Aww shit, that sucks.” Lance jams his hands in his pockets.

“Actually I’ve never been to a Taco Bell.” Both Hunk and Lance gasp dramatically at Pidge.

“Gimme your data pad, we gotta find the closest Taco Bell!” Lance starts grabbing at Pidge’s pockets in order to get her pad as fast as possible. 

“Sonic? Isn’t that a hedgehog?” Keith glances up at Shiro who just shrugs.

“They lost me after Denny’s. I never ate out much. Though I did always really want to go to a Chuck E Cheese’s.”

Keith grimaces. “Now I have been there. That fucking mouse gave me nightmares.” 

Shiro lets out a bark of laughter.

“I was three. Also if anyone makes me go back there I will fucking yeet that mouse into space.” Keith makes a point to glare at every one of them.

Shiro slings an arm around Keith’s shoulders. “Alright, no Chuck E Cheese’s for you. Son.” 

Groaning Keith pushes Shiro away. “I’m never living this day down, am I?”

“Nope.” Shiro grins at him

“Good.” Keith grins back. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://maliciouslycreative.tumblr.com/), [pillowfort,](https://www.pillowfort.social/maliciouslycreative) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/a_soppon)!
> 
> I absolutely love comments and love to respond to them so please leave one if you want! And it's ok if it's weeks/months/years later, I will still love it and you!


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